The Unknown

I never thought I'd be the girl who has no idea what she is doing with her life. I plan and organize and make lists-it's what I do. I finish projects before they're due and study for tests weeks in advance. So, how did I end up in this situation? It's scary. The reality is that I'm graduating in 6 weeks and don't have a plan for my life at all. I don't like uncertainty. Sometimes I secretly wish that I still had to complete my dietetic internship, so I would at least know what to do once I graduate. I just wish I knew the next step. I'm not tied down to anyone or anywhere. The whole world is at my fingertips. Up until now, life has pretty much always been planned out. You go to preschool, then elementary school, then middle school, then high school, and finally college. Even though you have to choose a college and a major, you still know it's the next step. Now what? The sky's the limit. After much deliberation in the fall, I eventually decided on graduate school, because it seemed like the best option (and honestly, I didn't know what else to do). I have a tendency to be a "people-pleaser" and haven't really been honest with myself up until now.

While I was in New York, I had an epiphany. I love being in big cities, and I don't want to go to graduate school. At least right now, anyway. I know that I'm passionate about health and nutrition and want to be a Registered Dietitian. I'm interested in wellness and prevention, teaching educational classes, writing and health communications, food and cooking, sustainable agriculture, and promoting positive body image. But I still don't really know what exactly it is that I want to do. So what's the rush of going straight into graduate school? Shouldn't I take some time for myself to figure it all out? I feel like this is the only time I have in my life to do something different. Now don't get me wrong, I love being from Alabama and love my hometown of Birmingham. I think there is a lot of charm in the South and something to be said for our way of life. However, there is a strong desire in me to experience new surroundings, culture, and people. I've realized that we are all made differently and some people don't feel that way. And, that's okay. We're all meant to be different.

I have felt so much pressure to know exactly what it is I want to do when I graduate, but I've finally decided that it's okay that I don't. I am 21 years old. I am so young. How in the world could I possibly know? And if anyone reading can relate to this it all, it's okay that you don't know either. In fact, I think it's a normal part of life. I strongly believe that you have to follow the direction of your dreams, which will look differently for each person. I don't want to look back on my life and have any regrets. The person I am today probably would not have chosen to attend college at the University of Alabama, but I don't think I would be the person I am today had I gone somewhere else. I think that each experience molds and shapes you into the person you are meant to be. I'm not exactly sure where life will take me, but I think that's part of the fun. I have absolutely no idea where I will be one year from today, which is terrifying and exciting all at the same time. Life is an adventure, and I am excited to see where it will take me.